The crap joke thread

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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby naking » Thu 14 Aug 2014, 8:26 pm

What's the difference between a chickpea and a Lentil?
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I wouldn't pay £100 to have a lentil on my face
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby tyza1971 » Thu 14 Aug 2014, 9:02 pm

naking wrote:What's the difference between a chickpea and a Lentil?
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I wouldn't pay £100 to have a lentil on my face


Sorry Naking, I hate to be picky. This is the CRAP JOKE thread. Clearly yours is a joke about pea?
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby citizen_fish » Tue 02 Dec 2014, 1:37 pm

A man goes in to a hardware store.

"do you sell dildo rails?" he asks.

"surely you mean a dado rail sir?" says the shopkeeper.

"no, A dildo rail, i'll be sticking it up myself" says the man.
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby WESTIE_UK » Wed 03 Dec 2014, 9:36 am

citizen_fish wrote:A man goes in to a hardware store.

"do you sell dildo rails?" he asks.

"surely you mean a dado rail sir?" says the shopkeeper.

"no, A dildo rail, i'll be sticking it up myself" says the man.



:Y: HA HA :Y:
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby Boba UK » Wed 03 Dec 2014, 1:01 pm

Whiteboards are remarkable aren't they?
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby SHROUD » Wed 03 Dec 2014, 6:08 pm

Do you think the days of advent calendars are numbered? :wink:
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby Boba UK » Sat 13 Dec 2014, 8:07 pm

Conjunctivitis.com

It's a site for sore eyes.
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby FazerFlipper » Sat 13 Dec 2014, 8:39 pm

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :bow: :bow:
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby tyza1971 » Thu 18 Dec 2014, 11:53 am

Tom’s girlfriend asked him to make love to her like they do in the movies so Tom took her up the arse and then shot all over her tits.

From the look on her face Tom could tell that they were into very different movies...
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby Boba UK » Fri 26 Dec 2014, 11:39 am

364 days until Christmas and people already have their decorations up.
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby DaddyR » Fri 26 Dec 2014, 3:59 pm

Boba UK wrote:364 days until Christmas and people already have their decorations up.


:D

How long have you been saving that up?
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby citizen_fish » Fri 26 Dec 2014, 4:54 pm

DaddyR wrote:
Boba UK wrote:364 days until Christmas and people already have their decorations up.


:D

How long have you been saving that up?



forty odd years :lol:
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby naking » Thu 14 May 2015, 7:04 am

A man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry and then a yellow lorry.

A policeman goes to his house to inform his family.
"There's no easy way to say this.."
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby Fatboyslick » Tue 02 Jun 2015, 12:44 pm

My favourite joke....

What type of Bees produce milk?

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Boobies
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Re: The crap joke thread

Postby Flynnstock » Fri 05 Jun 2015, 5:56 am

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?


Aye-matey
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